Tales Bar
by Nasis the Dragon Hunter
Summary: Ever wonder what the Tales characters do when you save the game and go to bed? Well, they go to the Tales Bar to talk about their messed up lives. ToP,ToS,TotA,ToL Xover. DAY 7: A TV arrives?
1. Day 1, Part 1

**Yeah, this is my first shot of making an all humor fic. It combines ToS, ToP (GBA version), ToL, and TotA as they come to the Tales Bar to relax and talk about their messed up lives. Keep in mind that this is a really big place, and can fit all the characters I can think of. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! There, I said it! Sobs**

Day 1

All was calm in the Tales Bar. Well, not really. I mean they were talking, so that doesn't make it _calm_ calm, but, well, you see my point.

"- And then I-I had to, to KILL HER!" Regal yelled out before sobbing uncontrollably on the bar counter.

"There (hic) there. Its all (hic) right. I came 'ome one day to find that my whoooole family had been killed." Chester slurred before taking another swig.

"…Are you even old enough to drink?" Guy questioned.

"Well, maybe I an't, but your friend isn't either!" Chester slurred back.

Asch choked on his beer. "I… uh… got to… uh… go to the… bathroom!" he said before taking off.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Zelos sat at a table in the corner of the room, drooling at the sight of the girls' table, (Collete, Norma, Shirley, pre-memory Grune, Sheena, and Arche. With Chloe and Mint at a nearby table.) Who were talking about… girl stuff, when Luke (pre-changed) joined him at the table. "Hey Zelos!" he greeted "It's a great day to be rich, isn't it?"

"Oh… hey Luke. You're unusually cheerful today." Zelos groaned at the distraction.

"Oh, that's because I got to see the beach today!" Luke said with a rare grin.

"Whoop-de-do." Zelos groaned at his publicly challenged friend. "Anyway, Luke, what do ya think about that chick in green over there?" he asked as he pointed to the girls' table.

"Well, she certainly has some nice melons…" Luke said in his usual I-couldn't-care-less tone.

"Good! That's the kind of Luke I like! Now, if you will excuse me…" Zelos praised as he got up and walked toward the girls' table.

"Watch out for the chick in brown." Luke warned unenthusiastically.

Moses then walked up. "Hey Luke, what's Zelos doin'?" he asked.

"He's at it again…" Luke said in… _that_… tone again.

"…"

"…"

"Want me t' call 911?" Moses asked… again.

"No, I wanna watch this."

Moses sat down and they prepared for the show.

**Well that's just to start it off. R&R everybody!**


	2. Day 1, Part 2

**Hmmmmm… yeah. I did forget to mention what the bar looks like. It has wooden floors, concrete walls, wooden tables and chairs and the rest is like a normal bar. Anyway, Enjoy part 2**

Day 1 Part 2

As Zelos takes his ride to certain doom, we will see what some of the other people are doing.

The lights dimmed, and Shiina (ToL) walked up to his post on the piano in the center of the main room and began to play "Meaning of Birth" (even though that song has no piano in the song.)

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Well, Shirley got kidnapped _again_ today…" Senel sighed to his two new friends, Cress and Lloyd.

"Really? So did Collete!" Lloyd said before scarfing down his sandwich, which he then spat out. "Ew, this sandwich has tomatoes…"

"That's just gross…" Senel said while Cress was struggling not to puke.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Meanwhile, in another room, Anise is pouting.

"Booooooo! How come they put us in here while the adults have all the fun!?" Anise whined.

"…" Said Persea.

"…" Said Suzu.

"… And to makes things worse, they put a guard at the door!" Continued Anise, who was staring at the hulking mass known as Vidaar who stood at the door.

"…" Said Persea.

"…" Said Suzu.

"… You two are no fun at all…" Anise gave up.

Just that moment, there was a knock on the door. "We got some more." Said a voice from behind the door.

Vidaar moved aside and Genis went flying threw the door and hit the opposite wall. "OWW! What was that for?" he screamed as he hit the floor.

"And here's the other one" said the voice as Mithos was thrown in.

" HEY! You can't do this to me! I'm a four thou-" Mithos started but stopped himself when he noticed Genis and Persea where in the room. "Four… teen years old…"

The Voice left, laughing its head off.

"Finally! We have enough people to carry out our plan…" Anise said with shifty eyes.

"A plan?" Mithos and Genis said in unision.

"Yes, a plan, now come here…" Anise Replied.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Lord Yggdrassial! Where are you!?" Pronyma screeched threw the bar, but everyone ignored her.

"Lose your boss, Pronyma? You should always him in your sights, I know I do…" Lectured Major Legretta before staring dreamily at Van, who was at a lone table planning out the next phase of his plan.

"Shut up, Legretta." Pouted Pronyma.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Heh heh, you got beat up pretty bad, Zelos." Chuckled Moses.

"Uuuuuuug…" moaned a black and blue Zelos.

"You owe me 10 gald Moses." Stated Luke.

"Huh? Why?" Moses questioned.

"… Damn, Jay said you were stupid." Luke sighed.

"What! Jay! That little-" Moses started but was interrupted by Dhaos, the Manager.

"Alright everyone, its closing time!" He yelled.

Everyone ignored him.

"… OK then. I guess I'll have to call Sephiroth agai-"

Everyone was gone.

"… Works every time." He said before going back into his office.

**There we go, R&R Everybody**.


	3. Day 2

**I've got three good reviews so far. Lets see if I can keep the funny.**

Day 2

As day ended and night began, people began to flock to the Tales Bar. Colonel Jade Curtis the "Necromancer" (Jeez that's long!) was the first to enter, and he began to annoy random people.

"My, my. Look at all the young couples!" Jade Exclaimed as Senel and Chloe, Lloyd and Collete, Luke and Tear, Then Cress and Mint entered the room. Here is their reactions.

**SenelXChloe: **

"What!? No! We're just friends! Right, Chloe?" Senel exclaimed.

"…"

"Chloe? …"

Meanwhile, Shirley is plotting the destruction of Chloe.

**LloydXCollete:**

It just flew over their heads, like everything else.

**LukeXTear:**

"NO! We're nothing like that!" They denied in unison.

**CressXMint:**

Cress just ignored him. However, it seemed like all of Mint's blood went to her face.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Asch, meanwhile, was at the bar table, drinking (Of course) when the familiar, annoying, pink-haired girl known as Arche sat down beside him. "Heya Asch, what 'cha doin'?" she asked cheerfully.

"Go away, Arche." Said the red head.

"Fine! You Meanie!" Exclaimed Arche as she walked off in a huff.

Asch blew off the insult and continued drinking.

"Man, Asch, why do you have be like that? …" Said the other red head, Luke, who came out of nowhere.

"Shut up, dreck." Asch insulted.

"What did you call me!?" Luke retaliated.

"I called you what you are, dreck!" yelled Asch, who was now off his stool and in Luke's face.

They continued in this manner until a bar fight broke out… involving swords. Jade, who had just walked up, shook his head and mumbled something along the lines, "They really are the same…"

"Bar fight, boss!" Yelled bartender Joe threw a door that read "Manager".

"Then call in the bar fight control!" Dhaos answered.

"Right!" Shouted Joe as he pushed a big red button.

Then, several dragons from Tales of Symphonia entered the room and tacked the combatants to the ground, instantly K.O.ing them. Unfortunately, the dragons didn't know when to stop, and began attacking random people. The other Tales Heroes, on instinct, began to fight back the dragons (Excluding the kids, because they are still stuck in the other room) in the most awesome fight you have ever seen.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Screamed Dhaos, who came out of nowhere and was now in his super, ultra powerful monster form. "ALL OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY BAR BEFORE I CAST METEOR ON YOUR ASSES!"

And in around 10 seconds, everyone had run out of the bar, even the dragons.

"Hmph…" Monster-Dhaos huffed before he started to go to his office…

Then he realized that he was too big to fit threw the door.

**Ok, That seemed short. Anyway, R&R!**


	4. Day 3

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had Christmas stuff to do. I can't think of anything else to say, so… Here's the next chapter. Enjoy. **

**Lloyd: Hi.**

**Senel: Sup.**

**Luke: Whatever…**

**Cless: Hello.**

**Me: What the hell!?**

Day 3

Everyone was uneasy about going back to the Tales Bar after yesterday's events, but they went anyway. Jade was again first at the door, but this time he was picking kids 13 or younger (or at least _looked_ 13 or younger) out of the crowd.

"Colonel! What are you doing!?" Anise shouted as she was picked out.

"The voice ran away yesterday, and didn't come back. So, I'm taking over his job." Jade replied cheerfully.

"But Colonel, I- wait… his name was actually 'The Voice'?" The brunette once again inquired.

"You ask too many questions, lets go." Jade answered as started to take Mithos, Genis, Suzu, Persea, and Anise to 'The Room Separate From the Others Where We Keep the Children and Have a Big, Scary Man Keep Guard at the Door to Keep Them From Escaping' or just the T.R.S.O.W.W.K.C.H.B.S.M.K.G.D.K.T.F.E. Room.

-------------------------------------------0-----------------------------------------

In a closet somewhere…

"Why are we in here again?" Harriet asked Ion and Meiu.

"Master and the others said something about us being useless and annoying and then put us in here." Meiu, the blue cheagle, answered.

"Oh…"

And they continued to sit in silence.

--------------------------------------0---------------------------------

"Alright, today's the day where we carry out our plan!" Anise announced to everyone.

"Are you sure it'll work?" Genis inquired.

"Chance of success, 1.64" the pink haired Persea answered for Anise.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Don't listen to her! She's just joking! Hahaha…haha…ha…" the brunette denied.

"…"

"…"

"…Well, it's not like we can do anything else…" Mithos sighed.

"Thank you, Mithos!" Anise thanked as she gave Mithos a bear hug.

"GAH!" Mithos gasped as all the air left his lungs.

""Well, lets go do it then…" Genis also sighed.

-15 seconds later-

Everyone was strewn about the floor, gasping for air and covered in bruises.

"Damn it! What the hell just happened!?" Anise cursed.

"You PHAILED, that's what happened." Said a random voice.

"…" was everyone's reply.

------------------------0------------------------------

"… And that's how you peek into the girls' bath without getting caught." Claude concluded.

"Fasinating." Said an amazed Zelos.

------------------------------0----------------------------

"Three beers please, bartender." Lloyd asked a mysterious new bartender.

"You know your not old enough, Lloyd" said the newly revealed bartender, Kratos.

"Wha!? Da- Kratos!? …Dammit…" Lloyd cursed as he sulked away.

-----------------------------------------0----------------------------

A sign on the front of the bar read,

"**PEOPLE BANNED FROM THE BAR:**

ASCH

LUKE

**ALL OF THESE LOSERS MUST GO TO THE LOSERS BAR OUT BACK**"

"This is all _your _falt!!!" Luke screamed in Asch's face.

"How is this _my_ falt, dreck!? You're the one who talked to me!!!" Asch retaliated

"That's IT!!!!"

They began to fight again until the police came, arrested them, and put them in jail, where they still fought.

-----------------------------0-------------------------------

"Alright kids" Dhaos announced over the crowd "It's closing time, but I have something to tell you before you leave."

All attention was turned to Dhaos.

"I have called the Castlevania Bar and they agreed to lend me some of their bar control until ours comes back" Dhaos continued " So I whould like to interduce you to… GERGOTH!!!!"

Just then, a giant, bloody, bipedal creature busted threw the wall and roared, causing the flap of skin on his face to pull back and reveal a hideous, skinless face.

Everyone in the room, save for Kratos, Dhaos, and Jade, fainted on the spot.

-Meanwhile-

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Harriet, Ion, and Meiu asked from behined the closet door.

**Me: What are you all doing here?**

**Luke: We heard that you were new, so we decided to see how your second story was.**

**Me: Oh well, R&R everybody!**


	5. Day 4

**I got Exams coming up, so it took me a while to write this chapter**. 

**Luke: Took you long enough.**

**Me: I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT MA' HOUSE!!! (Cocks shotgun)**

Day 4

"Today's the day…" Dhaos whispered in silent glee.

The Tales Bar had been trashed the last few days, and now he ordered something of the Internet to keep the "Human Scum" and the "Angel Idiots"(excluding himself) from doing it again. But we'll get back to that later.

-----------------------------------0----------------------------

"Hey, where's Mithos?" Anise puzzled as looked around the T.R.S.O.W.W.K.C.H.B.S.M.K.G.D.K.T.F.E. room.

-Meanwhile-

"KRATOS! Get me another apple juice!" Yggdrasial yelled from the other side of the bar counter

"Yes, my lord." Kratos responded and turned to get the apple juice. It was then that a marvelous idea hit Kratos like a dead kitten.

--------------------------0-----------------------------

"There's the Violent Demonic Banshee, I better watch out…" Zelos said more loudly than he should have.

"W-WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!" Sheena roared.

"Is that what he calls you?" Norma said, coming from nowhere, "Because you seem more like a She-she to me…"

"…" Replied the ninja.

"…" Replied the chosen.

--------------------------0---------------------------

"Come on, I _dare_ you." Lloyd pleaded.

"No!" Senel rejected

"Come on," Cless started " all you need to is walk over to the girls' table, pretend to trip and fall on at least one of the girls!"

"And if you do it, I'll give you 100,000 gald." Luke added while throwing a huge sack of gald on the table.

"Hmm… Alright, I'll do it." Senel agreed. Little did they know that Senel had already planned how he would do this and not get hurt. It was simple.

Senel got to the table, where the girls were chattering away, tripped himself over, and fell on… the ground. The girls paid no notice and continued chattering. When he got back to the table, Cress asked him, "What the hell was that?"

"Well," Senel replied, "you said to _pretend_ to trip and fall on at least one girl."

"…"

"…"

"… Damn it…" Luke then tossed Senel the sack of gald and walked off with Lloyd and Cress.

"Sukers." Senel cheered himself and walked over to the bar counter. "One beer please." He said while placing a gald piece on the counter.

"Two things wrong with that" Dhaos replied, "One: I'm not a bartender. And two: that's counterfeit money."

"…WHAT?!?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to remove you from my bar… GERGOTH!" Dhaos called as the giant creature busted threw the wall, grabed Senel, and chucked him threw another wall.

"… _Another_ wall." Dhaos sighed as he picked up the phone to call Dracula.

------------------------0------------------------------

"Your apple juice, Lord Yggdrasial" Kratos said as he put the glass down.

"Took you long enough, Kratos" Scoffed Yggdrasial as drank the whole glass. Then he stated "That apple juice tasted funny."

"Here, drink another one to wash it down." Kratos said slyly as he put down another glass of 'apple juice'.

-5 minutes later-

Yggdrasial was completely wasted on 'apple juice'. He started to wander around and got beat the crap out of by almost everyone in the bar by saying "You dumbasses think that you are so &#!&ing smart just because some other dumbass and-" No further details.

Kratos looked upon Yggdrasial's beaten body and tried to hold in a snicker, but to no avail. That snicker turned into a laugh. A long, cold, bonechilling, _evil_ laugh.

As Kratos was laughing, everyone looked at him and started to back out the door. Even Jade was disturbed enough to leave. Dhaos did not leave because he was waiting on his package. Just then, the phone rung.

"Dhaos speaking."

"Mr. Dhaos, the van carrying your package heard a evil laugh and had to turn around. You will get your package tomarrow. Bye" the voice awnsered.

"KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSS!!!!"

"What?"

**Luke(on the ground, bleeding): WTF just happened.**

**Me: Why wont you die?(BANG)(ka-chik)(BANG)**

**R&R Please. Thank you all for your reviews, they make me happy.**


	6. Day 5 part 1

**Whoa, I've been gone for a while… well, anyway I bet you all where waiting for this update huh? Well, here it is.**

**Luke: 'bout time!!!**

**Me: SHUT UP AND DROWN!!!**

**Luke: don't go taking my lines!!!**

**Me: grrrrr… I own nothing!!!**

Day 5 part 1

**"PEOPLE BANNED FROM THE BAR LUKE**

**ASCHE**

**KRATOS**

**ALL OF THESE LOSERS MUST GO TO THE LOSERS BAR OUT BACK"**

"Wait! What did I do???" Kratos questioned himself after he saw the updated list. Kratos then sighed and as he did, Luke stop and said, "Hey, Kratos, wanna sneak into the bar?"

Kratos shot Luke a deadly look and Luke backed up in fear and ran off.

"…That's what I thought..." Kratos muttered, "I sure hope Lloyd isn't doing anything he shouldn't..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Parthy timethss!!" Lloyd screamed as he jumped off a table and hit the ground with a thud.

"…Lloyd, are you drunk?" Cress asked as he looked questionly at Lloyd.

"Maybe… you wanna find out?" Lloyd slurred as he moved his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Lloyd received a long stare from Cress until he said, "I don't even want to know what that was supposed to mean. Come on Lloyd, I'll help you sober down."

"Mmmkay buddy!" Lloyd slurred in response.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Zelos." Luke greeted as he sat at the table Zelos was at.

"Why do you keep following me?" Zelos questioned.

"Rich people need to stick together!" Luke stated.

Zelos sighed and watched as Senel walked up and started, "Hey Lu-"

"I hate you, go away." Luke growled.

Senel shrugged, "Still angry about yesterday, huh."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dhaos sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and said as he sat at his desk, "Man, managing a bar is more stressful than I thought…"

Just then the new bartender, Billy, knocked on the door and said "Sir? Jade is pestering the customers again…what should we do?"

"Just ban him from the bar." Dhaos sighed.

"But, sir, I don't think-"

"JUST DO IT!!!" Dhaos roared.

"Y-Yes, sir!"

---------------

**Luke: wow, that sucked.**

**Me: Do you think I don't know that!?!?**

**Luke: …maybe**

**Me: GAAH!!! Anyway, sorry if this one was bad... I think I have writer's block on this story... R&R please**


	7. Day 5 Part 2

**Okay, here's part two.**

Day 5 part 2

The front door of the bar slammed open and several police officers (With wings, surprisingly) entered. Remial, who was dressed in a police uniform, announced to the crowd, "We have received reports that a escapee from prison was hiding here. Do any of you kn-"

Everyone cut Remial off by immediately pointing to Luke.

There was a long pause until Luke unsheathed his sword and screamed, "YOU WINGED BASTARDS WON'T TAKE ME BACK THERE!!!"

-Moments later, at the prison-

Luke was thrown into a jail cell. After he recovered, Luke ran up to the bars and screamed to a random security guard, "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME IN HERE!!!!!! I'M THE AMBASSITOR DAMMIT!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, a familiar voice said smugly from behind him, "So, you're back… dreck."

"Asche!" Luke exclaimed with pure hatred, "What're you doing here!?"

"…Stupid dreck" Asche spat.

"What did you call me!?!" Luke retaliated.

"I called you what you are, dreck!" Asche retaliated.

"DAMN YOU!!!"

And they fought… again…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Uh, mister Jade?" Billy said to Jade (obviously).

"Hm?"

"Um, Mr. Dhaos has requested that you be banned from the Tales Bar."

"…Ah," Jade responded in sarcastic awe, "you hear that? That's the sound of my poor, old heart breaking from the intense sadness afflicting me right now. Ah…" Jade then lay down on the ground and began making pained, sarcastic moans.

"MR. JADE! Are you okay!?!" Billy started as the sarcasm flew straight over his head, "Come on, Mr. Jade. I'll try to talk Mr. Dhaos out of banning you from the bar, just… DON'T DIEEEEE!!!"

Jade stood up rapidly and thanked, "Alright, thank you very much." And he walked away. Leaving a very confused Billy behind.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"AAAARGHH!!! I've got to get out of here!!!" Anise complained as she punched a random wall

"…" Suzu responded.

"…" Persea replied

"…!" Suzu responded

"…" Persea replied

"…?"Persea replied

"…!!"Suzu responded

"!!!"Persea replied

"…(…)"Suzu responded

"…?"Persea replied

"…"Suzu responded

"…"Persea replied

"…You guys are weird…" Anise looked blankly.

Genis sighed, "I can't believe I'm stuck in a dark room with three girls…"

"Genis, you're horrible." Persea scolded.

"YEAH!… wait… Persea… you talked!?!" Added Anise.

"…What does he mean, Persea?" Suzu asked.

"OH MY- you can talk too!?!" Exclaimed Anise.

"W-Wait a minute! What did I say!?!?!?" Genis questioned!?!?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So… you're a new bartender, huh?" Guy questioned the shady figure behind the counter.

Enough light filled the room in order to reveal the new bartender to be only… Yuan! Cue squealing fangirls "Yes, that's right" he responded.

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!" Yggdrassial screamed from the other end of the bar table, "Why is all my minions getting jobs all of a sudden!?! Is the pay not good enough!?!"

"Yes, that's exactly it" Yuan answered.

Guy continued, "So, do yo-" but he was interrupted by someone giving him a bear hug from behind and, to his horror, heard a _female_ voice say, "Heeeeyyyy Guy"

Guy screamed and fainted on the spot. Then Arche let go of Guy's limp body and watched as it slumped on the table. She then turned her friend, Norma, and said, "That's always fun to do."

"It also helps Guy get over his phobia over women." Jade said after coming out of nowhere.

"ACK! Where did you come from!?" Norma exclaimed.

"Oh, you know me. I'm everywhere and nowhere at the same time." Jade told them with a smile.

"…Something tells me that I'm not going to like working here…" Yuan sighed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright everybody, time for close-up!" Dhaos shouted to the bar people and they left in an orderly fashion.

"…"

Dhaos started, "…I was certain something bad was going to hap-"

**CRASH!!!**

Drunk Lloyd came crashing threw the ceiling and fell on top of Dhaos and slurred, "Whoopsthsss… sorry buddy."

"My… back" Dhaos groaned in pain.

**That was better than last time I bet. R&R please. (Guess I don't have writer's block after all!)**


	8. Day 6

**Here's you go people!**

**Luke: what kind of grammar is that!?**

**Me: (sighs) I own nothing…**

Day 6

**"PEOPLE BANNED FROM THE BAR: **

**LUKE FON FABRE**

**ASCHE**

**KRATOS AURON**

**ALL OF THESE LOSERS MUST GO TO THE LOSERS BAR OUT BACK.**

**PEOPLE WARNED:**

**LLOYD IRVING/AURON** (Don't get drunk again, you idiot! - Dhaos)**"**

"YOU GOT WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!????!?!??!?" Kratos screamed at his son after reading the updated list.

"Ahg… da- I mean, Kratos? Can you not talk so loud? My head hurts…" Lloyd wined in response.

"YOU DON'T TELL _ME_ WHAT TO DO, BOY!!!" Kratos chastised as he punched Lloyd straight in the face.

"Wait a minute… when did Mr. Dhaos start warning people instead of banning them!?" Billy wondered as the violent scene took place behind him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The whole inside of the bar remained silent as earth-shattering screams of pain where heard just outside the bar door; but, they started talking again after 25 seconds of listening. That's when a certain someone entered the bar…

"Holy crap!" Zelos shouted after the person that entered.

Sheena, who was talking to Zelos about something for some reason, stood up at the shout, got into battle position, and said, "What is it, Zelos!?"

"…Boobs" drooled Zelos.

A _very_ excited Klarth came out of nowhere and asked, "Where!?!"

The both of them were struck down by the violent demonic ban- I mean, Sheena, who then walked away mumbling something about men.

The person who had entered was none only but Grune… only, there's something different about her now. Grune then walked over to the girls' table and said, "Hello friends. May I join you this evening?"

All the girls, except for Chloe, Shirley, and Norma, stared blankly at Grune.

Arche asked, "Grune? What's the matter with you? You don't sound like you're usual, dopey self…"

"…What are you talking about? I've always been like this. All that happened today was that I got my memory back." Grune responded.

"…" Was everyone's response.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dhaos heard the screams of pain outside and smiled to himself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, Blue-Haired Man, how are you enjoying your job at the Tales Bar?" Jade asked the newest bartender.

Yuan replied, "First: I told you before, my name is Yuan, not "Blue-Haired Man". Second: I hate it. That Chester kid got drunk and tried to lick me, I have a feeling that that annoying pink-haired half-elf has a crush on me, and _you_ won't stop asking me stupid questions!!!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright Kiddies!" Dhaos started in an unusually good mood, "We have to lock up for the next couple of days, so if you don't get out of here in the next 10 seconds, you'll be stuck in here for the next 3 days without food or water… OH! Would you look at that!? You're out of time. Chao!"

**Luke: Dhaos was pretty cold in this chapter, wasn't he?**

**Me: He sure was… R&R people!**


	9. Day 7

**A nice long chapter for you guys. Enjoy… [YAWN**

Day 7

"Mr. Dhaos, we've installed it." said generic worker.

Dhaos grew a wicked smile, "finally… this should keep those idiots occupied. Haha… HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

---

As people started to flock into the Tales Bar, most of them noticed immediantly the large glowing box above the bar counter also behind the bar counter was Yuan, but no one cares about Yuan(exept the fangirls. They _love_ Yuan-kun or whatever the hell they call him… er… back to the story)

"what is that…" Cress asked.

"It's a TV" Yuan awnserded, "you use it to watch stuff if your bored or too lazy to go do something else."

"hmmm…" Jade pondered, "I'm surprised Guy or Raine hasn't torn it apart by now…"

Yuan knew how come, "Mr. Dhaos thought about that and is having them 'taken care of'."

-Meanwhile-

Vidaar drags a bound and gagged Raine and Guy to a closet and throws them in there. From inside the closet you hear a small annoying voice say, "Hello Mr. Guy, have you seen master?"

-back at the bar-

"well, that's too bad… for them, that is." Jade spoke casually.

---

One redhead punches the other across a jail cell. The redhead who punched was none other than Luke. The other redhead, Asche, spat the blood out his mouth, "I hate you…"

Luke retaliated, "I hate you too."

They continued to stare angrlily until Asche finally sighed and said, "Why do we do this, Luke?"

"what do you mean?"

"Why do we have so much hatred between us? We're practacly brothers!"

"well, I-I guess you could say…" Luke stammered, taken aback.

"I'm sorry Luke, this is all my falt…" Asche continued, tears forming in his eyes.

"N-No!" Luke exclaimed, "Its my fault, all you did was try to help me and I was a jerk!"

Before Luke knew it, Asche had him in a bear hug. Luke was surprised, at first, but eventually, he relaxed and hugged Asche back, a slight smile started to form on his face. He heard Asche's voice in his ear, he said, "Luke… Theres something I've been wanting to tell you…"

Luke said hesitantly, "what is it."

Asche paused. Luke started to sweat. What is he going to say? Is he going to pronounce that he has feelings for him like so many romance movies and fanfictions? He started to panic. If he did, how would he respond? after all, Luke DID NOT swing that way. If he rejected Asche's feelings, how would he react? Would Luke be brutally murdered in his sleep?

He continued to think in this manner, with him sweating profusely, until Asche finally spoke,

"Luke…

…

…

…

…You're a dumbass."

"HUH!?"

Asche proceded to throw Luke over his shoulder and _straight threw_ the cell wall into the grassy medow that surrounded the prision they are in. The prison was painted a pretty white color and above the entrance was a sign that read,

**CRUXIS PENETENTRY**

_Giving injustice to all_

Seeing the opportunity, Asche jumped out the hole created by Luke and started to run for it, taking a unconscious Luke with him…

---

"WOOOOO!!!" Cress, Klaus and Chester jumped out of their stools, taking a swig of their beer and started doing some funky dance.

"Tales of Football" was on the TV and team Phantasia had just scored another touchdown against team Symphonia so the score was 5-0. Lloyd groaned and slammed his head on the table. He then muttered, "Yuan, get me your best drink."

Yuan sighed, "yeah, sure."

A cold as ice voice then came from behind Lloyd, and Lloyd froze as it said, "No Yuan. You _wont_ be getting him your best drink…"

Without looking, Lloyd stammered, "H-How did you get u-unbanned…?"

"I have connections…" the voice awnsered.

It dosen't take a genius to figure out who the voice belonged to.

"Kratos…" Lloyd said in horror.

---

Zelos was outside the bar getting more dates than you will ever get in your life. IN YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Yggdrassial had a pensive look on his face, "So you plan to destroy your planet… and create a new one to your liking?"

Vaan looked very proud of himself as he responded, "Yes."

Yggdrassial looked at Vaan for a long time. Then said, "by Martel, that's more cliché than one of Yuan's favorite sayings…"

Vaan got _very _pissed_ very_ fast, "Well, at least I'm not hell-bent on resurrecting a dead person!"

"Well, how about I kill_ your_ sister and see how you feel after that!" Yggdrassial retorted.

"If you lay one hand on Mystearica I swear I'll kill you!" Vaan Roared

"Oh yeah? You and what army!?" Yggdrassial roared with equal force

Vaan snickered, "I got all the army I need in this bar!"

"I you mean your general what-its then my Grand Cardinals can wipe the floor with them!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"**OH YEAH?"**

"**YEAH!"**

---

A bruised and beaten Lloyd lay on the floor. everyone ignored him and moans of pain that escaped him

---

As the day ended, people relunctly were forced to leave because Dhaos had employed the Popes bodyguards as those people that force you out the bar as it closes. Yeah…

-End-

**Luke: P-P-P-PLOT HOLE! **

**Me: S-S-S-SHUT UP! **

**Luke: R&R everybody! **

**Me:…**


End file.
